The Toxic Relationship with Your Brain — And How It Affects Your Memory
- rouladahhak
- Oct 18
- 3 min read
Roula al-Dahhak, M.D
Neurologist and Memory Coach
We often think of toxic relationships as being between people — with a partner, a boss, or a family member. But sometimes, the most damaging relationship we have is with our own brain.
When you constantly criticize yourself, live under chronic stress, or believe that your brain is “failing” you, you create a kind of toxic internal dialogue that directly impacts how your brain functions — especially your memory.
What Does a Toxic Relationship with Your Brain Look Like?
A toxic relationship with your brain often develops silently. You may catch yourself saying:
“Why can’t I remember anything?”
“My mind just isn’t sharp anymore.”
“I’m losing it — I can’t trust my brain.”
These thoughts may seem harmless, but over time, they send powerful signals to your nervous system. When you continually speak to your brain as if it’s broken, your brain starts to believe you.
This self-criticism keeps your body in a state of stress and self-doubt, activating the same fight-or-flight response that occurs during external toxic relationships. Cortisol levels rise, the hippocampus (your brain’s memory center) becomes overstimulated, and your ability to encode or retrieve information begins to suffer.
The Neurology of Self-Talk and Memory
As a neurologist, I often explain to patients that your brain listens to every message you give it. When your internal dialogue is filled with frustration or fear, it triggers stress-related changes in brain chemistry:
High cortisol impairs the hippocampus, making it harder to store new memories.
Chronic stress disrupts the prefrontal cortex, leading to difficulty concentrating and organizing information.
Negative self-perception strengthens neural pathways associated with anxiety and weakens those tied to confidence and recall.
Over time, this cycle becomes self-reinforcing: the more you doubt your brain, the less effectively it performs — and the less you trust it. That’s the essence of a toxic brain relationship.
How to Heal the Relationship with Your Brain
The good news is that your brain is remarkably plastic — it can change, heal, and grow at any age. Through intentional training and positive engagement, you can replace old stress patterns with healthier, more adaptive ones.
At The Memory Training Center, we guide clients to rebuild this healthy relationship through three key approaches:
Awareness and Compassion: Recognizing that forgetfulness or distraction often reflects stress — not decline — helps shift your mindset from criticism to curiosity.
Cognitive and Memory Exercises: Targeted activities strengthen neural pathways responsible for focus, working memory, and recall. You begin to experience your brain as capable again.
Positive Brain Dialogue: Learning to communicate with your brain in supportive, confident language changes the physiological tone of your nervous system — reducing stress and enhancing memory function.
From Self-Blame to Brain Partnership
Healing your memory starts with healing how you relate to your brain. When you approach your mind as an ally — not an enemy — you engage its full potential for recovery and growth.
The relationship you have with your brain matters. When it’s grounded in respect, consistency, and compassion, your memory can thrive again.
About The Memory Training Center
At The Memory Training Center, we help individuals experiencing memory fog, attention difficulties, or cognitive changes due to stress, trauma, menopause, or brain injury. Our neurologist-designed programs combine clinical expertise with practical brain training techniques to strengthen memory and restore clarity.
📍 456 N. New Ballas Rd, Suite 266, St. Louis, MO 63141
📞 314-604-0758
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